It hits when it hits… healing…

And, healing truly is life long.

And, it hits when it hits.

I’m here to talk about it here too, instead of keeping it offline, only in hushed private conversations.

Smack on a Monday AM, I crash. I’ve come to a place in my life, where I know I better truly pause regularly.
And, As much as I preach pausing, I also push hard for work & kids - out of needs, but sometimes too much … and then my whole body inside & out crashes.

I need to curl up & howl. I write. I call my auntie or sister. I feel completely unglued, undone, open, vulnerable & just unable for the moment or hour or two to push through. I soothe my self because there is no other option. My body says so. And I honor that.

It’s also a beautiful moment. To me, it’s ultimate surrender. It’s saying to God- my heart & soul. Ok really … take the reigns cause I was still pushing for my specific agenda in my way. It deepens the whole thing…. Reroute to a bigger encompassing way. For the benefit of all, I always hope, better.

The good news is, this process used to take me OUT for a day. When I first learned how to travel through, instead of numb, push around or avoid, years ago - it took me out for a day … days. I’d be “in it” I was just learning how to truly process & heal & be with uncomfortable feelings.

Now often it’s just a little part of the day. Sometimes even just a few minutes. You learn to recognize your familiar stuff & honor its being asked to process. Painful, sad, rage, anxious …. Sure … but the more we just sit with it. Like a true friend sits with us, quietly - supportively. Steady. Solid. It doesn’t quite seem to take me out so long.

Right along with all our life, wins & growth, always there’s healing & becoming. To me it’s one of my favs to love on & nurture in others.

May we also glorify honoring healing & processing. It doesn’t look like a bad ass power house. It looks & feels messy, vulnerable.

It asks for intimacy with ourselves. Can I BE with this for myself. And, in our relationships. Who can we share this with? Who is able to sit with us IN this?

Let me tell you again, your scars are my favorite parts. Lets be here for each other thu it all. Here 4 u too, as I’m here for myself. Onward…